Day 12- I will keep going until I can reach the sky-

January 12^th

Charlie is worriied about the lost of my knowledge as soon as I get even mroe stupid. In addition, Charlie reflects this event on himself too, who might become an idiot after possessing the pieces of lost memories. Despite he does not mention that, however, I does know what he thinks. He starts calculating the formulas Dr.Haha gives him. He equations are so messy that I cannot able to understand. As for me, currently, is running in the maze to see if I really got stopid or not. I run without any ideas and thoughts. I have hit the wall over five times and becoming so exhausted that I decide to give up. What should I do if I am stupif? Are thosee people going to abandom me from this building? What happened if I run away to avoid their awareness or worries? Does Charlie still see me as a friend?  No doubt that Charlie knows he is going to be stupid after he becoming smart since he has done the same operation after Charlie. The reflection from me may cause him upsat, however, he needs to face the truth of it. I walk into my room slowly as if I already know the end of my life- murk with people leughing at me. Why Charlie is still calculating the formula to find the mistake in this brain operation? Currently, everything is negligible and hopeless.

I have my lunch at eight o’clock. All the scenes from my view is still so normal that I cannot believe I am dumb. Is this a punishment from god of ownning a great opperunity to have such a brain operation? Maybe I should start digging a grave for me and just jumping inside would be better for all of us.. Yes! This is it! I am going to do this for everyone’s sake. As soon as I see a place with funerals but forgot what is that call, or a cemetary perhaps, I start digging with my hands and then doing it as fast as I can. However, I do not know the purpose of doing this. I am such a idiot who does thinngs on a whim. Suddenly, I see Charlie Groden who chases me like a monster and soon I want to escape from him. Nevertheless, he catches me with a eerie smile according to what I see. His smile is so eerie that I cannot identittfy he is my friend or he is going to hurt me. I have no idea where is it and where am I? Do I have a person who can stay by my side with? Will Charlie think of these questions after he becomes dumb?

At last, I am still in my rooom doing nothing but staring at the red floor. I rilly don’t knw what should I do now and future? Will Charlie able to save me? Soon Charlie opens my door with out any knocking. I cannot understand him but it’s something good to me since he smile. Charlie then talks to Dr. Haha about the mistake of the operation he found. I do no understnad so far right now.